One friend of mine, who has had relationships with a Turk for a while, once dropped a phrase like: “I’ve decided that I don’t want to be his second wife!” As it turned out he was married, and she, believing that polygamy is allowed in Turkey, seriously considered the idea of becoming his second wife. Years ago, when I just came to Turkey for holidays first time, I was thinking the same way. When I asked one Turk the question about polygamy, he answered: “What do you mean four wives! Sometimes it’s difficult to manage even one!”
The phrase «married to a Turk» arouses concern in some of my friends. The question about scarf (no, I do not wear it) sometimes is followed by the question of whether I am sure that he has got no other wives besides me. “After all, until the time comes, Muslims’ wives may not realize the existence of another wife!” Also once a friend of mine commented upon the age of the husband of another our friend, who has also married to Turk: “Too late he got married!” I told her that that was his second marriage. “What, she has agreed to become a second wife?» I explained to her that he has divorced his first wife long ago, and that divorce in Turkey — something common, but polygamy — just an abnormal phenomenon.
Polygamy in Turkey is prohibited by law. There are no harems, and the rights of Turkish women are protected in the same way as in the most developed countries in Europe. Nevertheless, there are many remarks, which can be found on Internet, such as, «After the Kemalist revolution in Turkey, polygamy was officially outlawed. However, among wealthy people it still carries on. Also polygamy is allowed, if not encouraged, by Muslim clergy.”
If we assume that polygamy is relationship of one man with several women, this kind of “polygamy” exists in any country. According to the law, polygamy in Turkey is regarded as crime. Nevertheless, at the east of Turkey, in some villages, where the development of civilization seems to have stopped in the middle of last century, and the development of society even earlier, polygamy still exists. It’s difficult to survive for small family there, and the more children in family, the more women in household, the better. In these conditions women grow old early, children grow up fast and start to help their parents to earn money and look after home.
Naturally, these marriages can not be registered officially. Such marriages are registered by imam — the leader of a mosque and community. In some remote villages there are even unregistered children. This usually concerned girls – they don’t have to do military service and government may never learn if they ever existed. Therefore, their parents believe that extra bureaucracy is not needed.
Fortunately, nowadays such cases of polygamy occur more and more seldom, and in Turkish press are highlighted as crime and exceptional cases.
Polina Akar
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